Friday Night

I'm going to have to go out and do some yard work soon, so this'll be a quickie.

Last night was hilarious, I went and hung out with my group of friends from this other school. Their football team was doing pretty good so they were playing for some sort of finals (when I asked nobody knew). The stadium was uncovered, it was raining, and it was soo fucking cold. Just from walking from the car I couldn't feel my toes. I spent the entire game huddled up against people trying to stay warm... sadly it didn't work to well. I did have to put up with a lot of jokes about me and the guy that I sort of have/had a thing with, especially from one of my friends. He thinks its hilarious, when really it's not really that funny. Or so I think.

Anyway, it was so cold that the four of us left after the third quarter and headed to Krispy Kreme's for some hot chocolate and donuts. We also found out while sitting in the toasty Krispy Kreme's that their team had lost. But anyway the night was filled with my friends mom dishing out boy advice to the others, funny stories, and planning our Arizona spring break trip together.

Ew. I gotta go pull weeds.

later

'Tis Almost the Season

It's amazing what five days without internet can do to you. The panicked feeling of not getting my homework done was first and foremost in my mind (ten page history paper due on Friday... any takers?) I still think it's amazing how I (and the rest of the world) have grown so dependent on being connected.

As my brother is banging on his rock band drums as loud as he possibly can in the rec room next to mine, I've finally decided to take a break from the grueling hours of homework worked through today... that of course was after my two hour nap. I am so going to be up late tonight. I gotta stop letting myself do that.

Piano lessons are coming up (Wednesday) and I haven't gotten in as much practice as I would've liked to over the last couple 'o days but I guess that's life.

So the Christmas season is starting. Actually, I think it started back in September... at least according to commercials and stores anyway personally, as much as I love the Christmas season Thanksgiving hasn't even happened yet. I think it's absurd that Christmas has turned so commercial and material. Ok so I'm still not sure if I buy the whole Christian way of thinking that I was raised on, but I still think Christmas should be about the family rather than the getting.

I love seeing houses lit up with pretty lights. I love the snow. I love the Christmas trees and the ornaments and the way the house smells like pine and spice. I love watching my kittens frolic under the tree and rolls around in all the tissue paper. I love the Christmas cookies. I love wrapping presents. I love shopping for presents. But most of all I love how everyone is so happy. One of my favorite things in the entire world is to decorate the tree with my mom and my brother and my best friend (aka the sister I never who had... who happens to be Jewish. Love her.) I love making cookies with them. I love watching them open the present that I picked out for the them, the present that I bought them, and the present that I took the time to wrap and place under the Christmas tree. I love those smiles.

But enough about Christmas.

Thanksgiving is almost here. No school. Good food. I'm not quite looking forward to it being with my dad, but hey, I guess I'll deal. It means Christmas with my mom.

Wait. What is that? Oh. It's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn calling my name. Guess I'll go finish it. There'll probably be a quiz tomorrow. Fun fun.

later

Yes We Did

Wow. Obama won.

Yesterday was unbelievably historic, although really - it shouldn't be. No I am not being racist. I am saying that "blacks" should've had an equal chance with "whites" all the time, ever since the beginning. Racism has been one thing that I have never understood and something that I don't think I ever will. Maybe it's been the way I've been raised or the area I live it - but the whole concept of discriminating against someone because of their skin is just mind boggling to me. (And the whole gay's shouldn't be able to get married thing... if you don't like it then DON'T DO IT. But don't ruin other people's happiness just to keep your own selfish morals intact when it has nothing to do with you. People like that make me so angry... but I digress.)

The speeches, hands down, were the best part. They were both amazing.

Now that this election process is over - we've got the hardest stuff ahead of us. I'm scared, hopeful and interested to see what happens.

Oh, that's my mom calling for dinner. Stir fry. Yum.

later

Yes We Can

So today is a huge day for anyone living in America. Elections are the thing on everyone's minds. Obama? McCain? No matter who wins, our country will be changed for the better. Unless they f*ck it up worse than Bush... and I guess that it's entirely possible.

This time, I actually took an interest in the debates and policies instead of like last time (at the ripe old age of 12) when I wasn't really interested - I couldn't grasp how important it all was because I didn't see the outcome as directly affecting me. I think I asked my parents who they voted for... and that was it.

It's around 7:45pm (as I'm writing this) and right now Obama is in the lead. I think our country really needs someone like him right now although I think that in this election, there isn't candidate that would be really bad for the job. Except for a certain vice president *cough cough* SARAH PALIN *cough cough.*

Anyway most of politics disgust me - the lies, the desire to win trumping everything, and the way that they never answer a question straight. Just SAY the f*cking answer in PLAIN ENGLISH. Needless to say, some of the debates frustrated me. It'll all be over tonight though, and no matter who wins - there's going to be some disappointed people and some gloaters tomorrow at school... but enough about that.

I got the most sleep I've had in a month last night: a whopping 7 hours. It was like heaven.

School is basically my life right now, other than texts from my boy and a piano lesson once a week, school nights are filled with equations, chemistry homework, a 10 page history paper, and the ever present French vocabulary.

Speaking of french: parlez-vous francais? I'm excited though cuz I'm hosting a student in February from the city of Nantes (I think that's right) and in June I'll be in France for 2 weeks with a bunch of friends (in Paris and staying with a host family in Nantes.) I'm hella pumped. My mom brother, one of his friends and I are actually going to Whistler (Canada) to ski while they're here so we might just take her with us (although I'm not sure we'd be allowed to take her out of the country.) My worry is that I'm going to offend them somehow. haha. Hopefully if won't come to that - worries aside, it's going to be amazing.

Well, I gotta go right a satire... which is going to be a bitch cuz I'm not really that funny. (haha I think that I end it everytime with "I've gotta go do blah blah homework" - school sucks)

later

*edit* wow I totally used the wrong form of "write" in my last paragraph, so I apologize haha.

Stuck in Late Nights

I think I'm starting to become an insomniac.

It's taking me longer and longer to fall asleep each night... I think the average time right now is about 4 hours. If I didn't have to get up so early for school, this wouldn't be a problem but lately I've been getting an average of less than 5 hours of sleep a day - definitely not enough.

Despite functioning in my sleep deprived mode all day, I don't mind it all that much (although I do get the urge to chuck my alarm across the room when it goes off. I am definitely not a mornging person.) I like the quiet and the peaceful atmosphere that night brings, and it's weird, but I like the feeling of being the only one awake. I can curl up on the end of my bed and just watch what goes on outside my window in the middle of the night, of course it's not usually much, although I've seen people street racing on my road before - even though there are speed bumps - which they probably figured out the hard way.

I also love the way that nighttime smells. It's like snow. Some people insist snow can't smell - but I beg to differ. In the winter, one of my favorite things to do for myself is just to snuggle up in a bunch of blankets and open my window and just feel the cold air on my face and smell all the coldness... if that makes sense. It's the best when it snows, I can sit for hours and just watch the snow fall. The streetlight just in front of my house makes it easy to watch the flakes float down and you'd be surprised how many people take 2am walks in the snow.

I think I also like nighttime because it's a time for me to just think without anyone interrupting me or cause a distraction. I usually come up with the bets story ideas when either 1. something happens in my life or 2. I think of it before I go to sleep. I have a post-it pad on my bed side table to that i can write down anything that comes to mind - because I know that if I don't - the idea will be lost in the morning.

Last night though, I was up for other reasons other than thinking... homework's been killing me. It's true that I had piano lessons earlier and that I spent some time writing/reading but it shouldn't have taken me that long... I get way too much.

So, yes, that's what I'm off to do right now.
Linear equations with 3 variables, here I come!

I may not make it out alive... or sane.

later

Sometime Around Midnight

Last night, as I lay in bed thinking back on my day, I realized that I needed to find a place to talk. I feel like I don't understand half of what's going on in my head these days, and maybe if I wrote it all down - I might make sense of my thoughts.

So really, this is just a place for me - like many other people who feel screwed over - to speak my mind with the comfort of knowing that no one I know will ever read this, unless I trust them enough to share it.

I've got life pretty good compared to some and I know that, I go to a private school and I'll go to college - not Ivy League - but I'll get the education that I need to "succeed" in life. I've never been abused. I'm not depressed. This doesn't mean that everything is good and perfect. My emotional stability over the last few years has been a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, mainly to do with that fact that my parents divorced when I was in 8th grade. There was no full out brawling fights between my parents, no custody battles, and no blaming it on us kids. It still hurt - and it still does. I think it always will.

I'm proud of the fact that I don't let the hard times in my life let me see the glass as half empty, I've always been an optimist because I really believe that most (I don't want to say all) people want to be good. It makes looking at the world just a little bit brighter. That light is definitely worth it.

I've gotta run now and do some history homework that I've been putting off (aren't you supposed to have fun at 16?) so I won't be up hideously late tonight... although I probably will.

That's life though.

later

P.S. I am in love with this song right now. It's amazing.